I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
So much Jack, so little girl.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
