You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Floor bacon is actually really good
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