So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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