i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
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