Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
