my vag is so smooth its legendary
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
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