Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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