Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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