he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
