Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
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