I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I need to calm my uterus...
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Randomize
