Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
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