Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
