Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
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I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
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