She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
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