there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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