Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
