Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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