does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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