Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
sarcasm needs its own font
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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