I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
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