too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
