once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
