I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
