No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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