For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Randomize
