Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
