i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
