i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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