Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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