I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
