fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Randomize
