she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
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