He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Randomize
