i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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