I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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