put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
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