My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
