and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
