how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
