He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
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