This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
