this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
