ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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