North Korea, Best Korea!
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
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