Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
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