"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
