how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Randomize