when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Mom said you looked used
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
