The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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