people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
