I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
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