that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize
