Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
