I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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