If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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