I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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