just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize