why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
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Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
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I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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