Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
