Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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