I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
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