just come out here and I will go home with you...
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
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I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
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The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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