i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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