I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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