it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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